The waiting started when I walked out of work with J and sat on the bench sharing what will hopefully be one of my last cigarettes with her.  I won’t be walking through those doors in an official work capacity for at least 6 weeks and I’m hoping I can handle it, for that store is a huge part of my day and the people there are a huge part of my heart.

The waiting OFFICIALLY began as I walked out of the hospital later this afternoon after my pre-op appointment.  Having given 4 tubes of blood and had my EKG, I headed for the car armed with two sets of instructions, informational pamphlets, and a band-aid on my arm.  And promptly let myself go with a few tears….

I have to admit I’m kinda scared.  The last time I had spent any amount of time in a hospital because of surgery was 46 years ago at the age of 5… and my daddy was there with me.  Funny how there are certain things that we remember years later, but what struck me was the memory of the man I loved most in the world sleeping in the chair next to me and a rather intense discussion with the nurses about the cocoa I’d asked for that wasn’t fit for human consumption. 

I received a mug of cocoa that lived up to his standards soon after that.

But most of all, I remember the feeling of safeness and security and overwhelming love!

My daddy won’t be there with me in body, but I know he will be sitting right there with my Father… his hand on one shoulder and His Hand on the other.  And the spirit of love will surround me with the support and  the prayers of my family who can’t be with me, and the caring of friends who mean the world to me.

I am so blessed!