I truly love my job.  I’m responsible for the team that sets every piece of product at our store and every day is something new.  We’re the first to see the new product and each time we do a set it’s a lot like Christmas.  All those boxes with not a clue as to what’s inside until you open it.  Most often, something delightful and new and fresh and “cutting edge” which is what our store is known for.

Then we set the new jewelry designer last week…


I always thought jewelry was supposed to be a subtle compliment to a woman’s outfit.  Personally, I tend towards simple chains and earrings, nothing overbearing or ostentatious.   You know…. something that doesn’t scream I HAVE NO TASTE.

This stuff is FAR from subtle!  As we opened each piece to put in the display case, there were 4 people standing around me who were at a loss for words…. and I have NEVER seen my team at a loss for words!  They gaped… they shuddered…. and the only word I heard come from their mouths was a whispered “Wow!” accompanied by shaking heads.  We looked like a group of red and khaki Bobble Head dolls.

There was an enormous gold wasp suspended on a thick gold chain surrounded by balls of various sizes.  Yes, THAT’S something I’d wear with my jeans to the grocery store….. NOT!  Oh and don’t forget the oh-so-subtle matching bracelet with the equally large wasp dangling from the clasp.

Chunky bracelets are “in”…. these however come in red, white and turquoise with mutant rhinestone butterflies on them…. AND with a chunky price tag.  We thought maybe they belonged to a ringtoss game.  We were wrong!

And a necklace with a vintage pocket watch case which was opened and embellished with what looked like a tangled up mess of chains that I pulled out of my jewelry case the other week being vomited out of the center…. oh and don’t forget that wasp that was in the middle of THAT one too!

And for those who can’t quite see their way clear to spending a minor fortune on the things in the case, there is a countertop of more inexpensive necklaces and bracelets…. all looking as if the designer had taken his child’s primary colored teething beads and strung them together with white string.

These are pieces of jewelry that do not make the outfit….. they ARE the outfit!  Because there is no way on earth that anyone is going to notice what you have on besides that jewelry.  Or for that matter, don’t have on.

So far I’ve resisted the urge to take my own tangle of necklaces and hot glue it into a cleaned out snail shell, adorn it with hickory nuts from the yard and dangle it from the twine that I use to tie up the bird feeder in the yard. 

Hmmmmm…. suppose it would sell on Ebay?